Tips For a Successful Friends With Benefits

19 Jun

Bone buddies, booty calls, friends with benefits- whatever you call it, a no-strings-attached relationship can be really convenient and fun if done the right way. Follow these tips to make sure you don’t fall in love, your fuck buddy doesn’t throw you a flash mob and your lack of a relationship is nothing short of satisfying

1. Make sure you’re cut out for this.You have to be able to separate sex from your emotions. Channel your inner ice queen, and get humpin.

2. Delicious yet undateable is the perfect combo. You want a guy who you dream about being naked in your bed, not at the dinner table next to your mom.

3. Your friend with benefits isn’t your friend. You should be acquaintances at best.

4. The only thing you should know intimately is his genitals.

5. Don’t talk or text before 10pm unless you’re meeting up for a lazy side bang before work in the morning.

6. This isn’t the movies, and you are NOT going to fall in love. Think about it- do you really want to tell the grandkids a fairytale where you fell for your fuck buddy?

7. You’re not a slut. Everyone has needs. Think of this guy as a glorified vibrator, just don’t talk about it. Your number isn’t multiplying, and steady sex with one guy is better than random one night stands with several guys.

8. Make sure your mancandy isn’t running his mouth around town either. Secret lives can be sexy, keep it that way.

9. You should see your favorite bartender more than you see your bone buddy..

10. Don’t diss your friends for him. EVER. Chicks before dicks no matter what.

11. Don’t stop dating. A friend with benefits is similar to a marathon of The Real Housewives– you watch it because it’s fun and passes the time, but there’s no real substance there. Remember you’re just biding your time until you find someone you ACTUALLY want to date.

12. Use Protection! You and your booty call don’t owe each other anything, so the last thing you want him to give you is a trip to the gyno.

13.  This is the one time you can actually say size matters. Find a fuck buddy who satisfies you!

14. You’re not cuddle buddies, and you’re not making love. Fuck his brains out, kick him out then spoon with your teddy bear.

15. All good things must come to an end. Have your fun, fulfill some fantasies, then cut it off before anyone gets hurt.

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One Response to “Tips For a Successful Friends With Benefits”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. F*Buddy Rules « The Curse Of The Single Parent - June 23, 2012

    […] Tips For a Successful Friends With Benefits (thisgingerlife.com) […]

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